Boundaries

When you are a f/t writer, your life is permeable. For one thing, if you are not actually writing, you are often thinking about writing, blogging about writing, emailing about writing, talking to writer-friends about writing. If you freelance, you are either editing other writers . . . or writing.

Add to this the experience of, say, ghostwriting, whereby you are paid well but are essentially "on call." My last client was in Las Vegas. When it was convenient for him to talk, I would ordinarily have been SLEEPING, but I would stay up late in order to get our interviews in. [Not that I minded . . . I loved writing the book . . . but it's definitely a job that goes far beyond 9 to 5.]

I don't have regular hours (but often think I should). ]

Then add to this scenario that I support my entire family . . . as a writer. If you are a f/t writer, your business either feeds your family and pays all the bills--or it doesn't. There is a tremendous amount of uncertainty--and these are also unprecedented (for my lifetime) uncertain times. Consequently, as long as I have contracts and freelance, I feel like even when I am NOT working . . . I SHOULD be working.

Add being wired. I love my iPhone. But I find myself obsessively checking emails, particularly when I am on deadline and emails are flying back and forth--or like last Friday, my publicist was emailing about arranging signings [Come see me!].

Add in that I am pretty intense to begin with. I love to have parties and kick back with friends--in fact, my circle of friends is probably the closest I come to relaxing because great conversation takes me out of my head for a bit . . . but essentially, I work in an inner sense, mostly in my brain . . . and it's hard to shut said brain off. I was thinking about this the other night at 3:00 a.m. I couldn't sleep. I tried deep-breathing. I tried prayer. I turned on the light after a while and sat doing NY Times crosswords until I felt sleepy, and then went back to sleep. Not exactly light escape reading. You get the idea . . . it's like a sickness.

So I am working on two things in my personal life. Both relate to writing. One . . . I need to worry less about the uncertainty of being a writer. It's a chronic thing. I think you can't be the daughter of a Russian without worrying about something. Two . . . that I have more boundaries between THIS life and THAT one. And that when I am having downtime, when I unplug, that there is no GUILT about it.

So are boundaries between THIS life and THAT one something you struggle with? Other boundaries? Anyone have a set of worry beads I can borrow?

Namaste.