Monologue | Thursday night on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on NBC: At a stop in Buffalo today, a woman walked up to President Obama and said, “You’re a hottie with a smokin’ little body.” I’ll tell you, Betty White is out of control.
According to the top people in the petroleum industry, the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico will not affect gas prices. They said, “They were going up anyway.”
According to a recent survey, one in eight people say they will not buy gas from BP anymore. Unless, of course, it’s cheaper than the station across the street.
Tar balls have started washing ashore in Louisiana. Meanwhile, the slime balls that started the whole thing are still in Washington.
And the Senate this week voted to toughen the standards for home loans. Under the new standards, lenders would have to verify that the borrowers can repay the loan. Really? Is that considered a tough stance now? You have to pay back the loan? Borrow money from the mob sometime. They break your legs. Those are tough standards, okay?
Officials in the U.S. Treasury are complaining that some Mideast countries like Kuwait are not cooperating and shutting down the flow of money to Al Qaeda. Correct me if I’m wrong. Didn’t we liberate Kuwait? Now they don’t want to help us. Who do they think they are? France?
The Los Angeles City Council voted to boycott Arizona to protest the new anti-immigration law. The council vote wasn’t even close. The council voted, trece to uno.
Sarah Palin coming out with a second book in November, which is pretty impressive. This book was written almost as fast as the first book she didn’t write.