Quiz: Are you an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel?
Roland Tanglao

Quiz: Are you an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel?

In writing my book about habits, Better Than Before, I discovered a personality framework that divides all of humanity into four categories. It may sound preposterous, but I have to say, of everything in the book, I think this section is my greatest intellectual accomplishment. It was very, very challenging to develop this framework, but I really do think it sheds a helpful light on human nature.

So what are the Four Tendencies?

It’s very important to know ourselves, but self-knowledge is challenging. If you want to know yourself, it’s key to know where you fit into the Four Tendencies, that describe how people tend to respond to expectations:

-outer expectations (a deadline, a “request” from a sweetheart), and

-inner expectations (write a novel in your free time, keep a New Year’s resolution).

Your response to expectations may sound slightly obscure, but it turns out to be very, very important.

In a nutshell:

  • Upholders respond readily to outer and inner expectations (I’m an Upholder, 100%)
  • Questioners question all expectations; they’ll meet an expectation if they think it makes sense, so they make everything an inner expectation (my husband is a Questioner)
  • Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves
  • Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike

I gave a talk at LinkedIn about the Rubin Character Index, so if you’d like to see me discuss each category in a video, you can watch: for Upholders, watch here; Questioners, here; Rebels, here, and Obligers, here.

You can take a quick quiz to learn your Tendency here.

I continue to try to understand this framework better, and to understand how people work. So here are my questions for you, which you can answer if that seems like a fun thing to do:

Whatever your Tendency, do you wish you belonged in a different Tendency? Why, and which one? I’m an Upholder, and although I see the downsides, I wouldn’t want to switch to a different Tendency.

Relatedly, is there a Tendency you envy? To my surprise, someone told me, “People most often envy Upholders and Rebels.” Agree? I would’ve though people would most envy Questioners.

Can you think of any great examples of the Tendencies from literature, TV, movies? E.g., Hermione is an Upholder; Andre Agassi is an Obliger. I especially need examples of Questioners.

Obligers: do you sometimes think, “When someone expects something of me, I do it, and I often have trouble meeting my expectations for myself. I feel puzzled and resentful when other people don’t do the same. They don’t give priority to the expectations of others, but are just as concerned about meeting their expectations for themselves. They might put something that benefits them (going running) ahead of an expectation of someone else (a kid needs help with homework). To me that seems callous/self-centered/enviable.”

Upholders: do you find it difficult to impose expectations on other people? It’s odd — you’d think that Upholders would feel the most at ease at doing this, but at least in myself, I really don’t like to enforce expectations. In fact, I want people to impose expectations on themselves, and I become frustrated when they don’t/can’t.

Rebels: you so value your own freedom and ability to do things your own way. Do you feel comfortable telling other people what to do?

Rebels: how do you feel about being put in the Rebel category? Does it bother you to be put into a particular slot? Do you think the description suits you? Do you like being identified as a “Rebel”?

Not sure, or Questioners: Do you recognize other Tendencies better than you recognize the Questioner Tendency?

Thanks, readers, for all your comments on this topic over the last several months. It has really deepened my understanding of how people think and act.

Also ...

  • Of everything I've ever written, I think this one-minute video, The Years Are Short, resonates most with people.

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Gretchen Rubin is the author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. She writes about happiness and habit-formation (the subject of her next book, Better Than Before) at gretchenrubin.com. Follow her here by clicking the yellow FOLLOW button, on Twitter, @gretchenrubin, on Facebook, facebook.com/GretchenRubin

Roland Tanglao, Flickr

Auguste H.

Auguste is Editor-in-Chief of Limit Experience Journal. She is an expert in guiding creatives through stuck places on their entrepreneurial paths.

4y

There's a photo of me as a toddler wrestling with every ounce of my being out of my parents' arms. In a nutshell, rebel fits me to the nth degree; however, I laughed when I got the quiz results because I've been fighting my fighting spirit for decades. Time to be congruent with this tendency and take on the mantle of "free spirit" that so many people (admiringly...mostly) place on me.

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Definitely a questioner - always trying to seek understanding for the bigger picture and understand from an intellectual standpoint how everything works! I chuckled a bit when I heard from the video that they often ask why something is being done a certain way and basically "caring too much" since they "cant let it go" since I had heard that recently from someone else.

Anees Muhammad

Teaching Advanced Econometric Modeling, Econometrics Freelancer, Econometrics Researcher, Founder AnEconomist.com

7y

This will definitely help me shape my students attitude towards research on social and business tendencies related to the fields in project management and management sciences. Thank you Gretchen Rubin for such a nice thought.

Barbara Whitley

Personal and Marriage Counselor at New River Genesis Counseling Services

7y

Unfortunately.. these concepts r iterated already several times in other vocabulary words ....: Christian model : (choleric; sanguine, phelmagic, melancholy. Standard psychology: intuitive, judgment, sensitivity, etc ..and the variants. Pop psychology: lion, Bear, etc. So ... guess the transparency of the stereotypes is really taboo for those of us who score off the charts for creative, independent thinking on any fun analysis of palm reading. Choleric rebels r us... the world needs the 5 % so the 95% can stay in place and be remorse about our foresight and great ideas. I know .. ya'll r annoyed ... first time ever for me...omg ...and a great big lol ..

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SOHAIL MIRZA

Educational institute and philosophical approach.

7y

I think ! I am an obliger please.

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