Talking Yourself in from the Ledge
So after yesterday's post, I think it's clear just about everybody has days that are filled with doubt. For me, that looks like, "There is no way I am writer enough to tackle this." Or, "I've completely lost my way." For others, it can be as basic as, "I suck."
Then, because that's the way it works, you can get in that space, and the Universe will be only TOO happy to oblige you. You'll get a bad review, a tougher-than-usual critique. You'll have a flop of a book signing, or you'll be cornered at a cocktail party and when someone realizes you haven't PUBLISHED yet, will suddenly lose interest in your writing. You name it . . . something will happen to back up your insecurities.
So how do you climb back in from the Ledge of Doubt?
- Get inspired. Whatever that looks like for you. Go to a museum, listen to music that fills you with feelings of creativity, take a walk, run a few miles, whatever.
- Find writer friends who get you. I've often shared that there are lots of different ways to run a critique group. The one I am in has an actual written description of how we work. We thrive on pointed criticism spoken with a sense of respect for each others' feelings. When I'm in my group, I know it's a perfectly safe place to share my stuff--even less-developed or polish material I am feeling my way through, like this past week.
- Avoid writers in the 'sphere who don't get you. Makes sense, right? I used to visit this one blog, but the five women who ran it were so negative ALL the time that I wondered why they even wrote. I visit no more.
- You're not gonna quit, so suck it up and go write. I know you, Writer. I know you. YOU, the one who says you're going to quit, that trying to get published is too hard, your writing sucks, you're fooling yourself . . . yeah, YOU. Look, if you could NOT write, you would have quit years ago. So stop talking about quitting and just go write.
- Write a million words. Yeah. Just KEEP writing. It's a cure for what ails you. You'll find your voice. You will.
28 comments:
This is a great post. Every writer needs their tribe. (I have several tribes and I love them all!)
I'm teaching a class on critiquing with five students. They're like a little burgeoning critique group and they did so well last night with their first group! If even half of them continue with each other, I'll consider it a success. And you know what? One guy said the thing that most warmed my heart:
"Reading all your stuff inspired me to write. I wrote more since our last class than I have in weeks."
!!!!
Starbucks:
What a great (!!!) feeling that must be!
I suggest that every writer copy and paste your post to a document file, enlarge it and stick it close by the computer monitor. Better yet, shrink it and take it to your local tattoo artist. Make sure it's inked where you'll see it, and not where you won't. ;-)
Moving on...
My personal "pull myself from the ledge" suggestion is to recall the people who marveled over your writing. You know who they are - but keep your mother out of it. For me I recall words of my U.S. Hist. professor. On one of my many papers he wrote "If the college allowed it, I'd give this one an A+." And he allowed me to keep my voice rather than go all academic sounding. There are other "marveled" moments, but his meant the most to me.
Kath:
Good one. I believe every writer should absorb and won praise--but not rest on it.
Great post!
I contact my fans and they bring me 'in from the ledge.' Fans are what we named ourselves and we are there to push each other onward no matter what task needs completed.
Mary
Giggles and Guns
Mary:
Everyone needs fans. :-)
Nothing more to say :)
But yeah, the ledge has been my place of residence for the past few months. But I'm beginning to see how everything fits together. I think...
I belong to a group of committed writers who not only critique, but give ass-kicking motivational advice and really care about each other.
The hard part is that when I'm involved in a severe case of i-suck-itis I don't want to connect with them... hiding out is too inviting to ignore. It is a constant battle.
Gotta have that critique group. I know I'd be lost without mine. I'm a better writer because of them and I like to think I'm a big help with their work.
Great blog, Erica.
Reading great posts like this one is definitely very inspiring! Thanks. :)
You never fail to inspire me. Thanks.
ewoh:
You must beat back the I-Suck-Itis, my friend. With a crowbar if necessary.
Liz:
My group saves my sanity. What little sanity I have, that is.
BLD:
Aww . . .thanks!
Travis:
I was thinking of you when i wrote this, pal.
xoxoxox
E
I have found my niche in helping new writers. I love it.
Thanks, E.
I can always count on you for a good kick in the ass :-)
My inner voice frequently resembles a toxic friend. And I try to respond the same way as I do to toxic friendships: Allow it no platform. Hang up on it, don't answer the door, don't accept party invitations.
When my inner a-hole starts in on me about something, I politely (or not so politely) excuse myself and find something more productive to do than beat myself up.
I can't believe how much better my life started to be once I stopped listening to that jerk!
I crawl back from the ledge by enjoying the success of friends. A friend gets an agent, or a book deal, or a great review and I get really happy for them. And that makes me want to keep going and push forward, knowing I might be in their same place one day.
Don't worry too mu8ch about me Erica. I sent out a dozen or so queries today on some older stuff while I ponder my current WIP and the direction I wanna take it.
Merry:
Or a snog.
:-)
E.:
Brilliant advice!!!! I love that analogy a lot!
Nadine:
You are a rarity--someone who enjoys the successes of others. That's wonderful.
Travis:
Just makin' sure my favorite Texan storyteller is OK. :-)
For some reason standing on the ledge inspires me.
Richmond:
That is very cool. Because writers reside there often, LOL!
My inner voice sounds a lot like members of my family -- not good. I try to surround myself with people who both encourage and give me a kick in the ass every now and again.
Awesome post. Got a couple to add:
1) Remind yourself of any successes you've had - doesn't have to be something another person would consider a success, just something you are proud of.
2) Read bad writing. It gives you an 'I'm better that this wannabe' kick. (Every time I think about Dan Brown I feel consumed with self-worth and determination.)
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